So, I was walking along, minding my own business, feeling blessed after a day filled with love, family fun, and MonSter-less reminders of that demon that lives within me. The sun was high and bright, but a chill in the air reminded me that winter’s promises remained.
I didn't care.
Life is good.
I gripped the trekking poles (My new trekking poles have been a God-sent addition to my growing collection of walk-aids when used correctly, one in each hand.) in one hand and held firm to the package in the other, proud to be a participant in this fine day.
One second I am upright, BGB (https://www.themsgym.com/) intact, heart full of smiles, and the next flying through the air. Trekking poles sailing ahead, package… Wait! Where is my package? My nose glued solidly and painfully to the sidewalk and paralyzed with shock, I remained prone for several seconds, trying to figure out what happened. I didn’t trip on anything. My legs didn’t buckle. I didn’t blackout. Or did I? This has happened before, I realized, this lost in space sensation. Suddenly I remembered being fascinated with Olympic gymnast Simone Biles “getting lost in space”. I guess I knew how she felt.
Finally, I realized that I should probably get up and assess the damage. Evidently, my husband was more concerned with the displaced possessions than my well-being…
I rolled off the sidewalk onto my side, reluctant to inspect what I recognized as blood-filled hands cupping my nose. And there was definitely blood. BUT my nose didn’t feel crooked, so maybe it wasn’t broken. It DID hurt like H E double Hockey sticks.
Hoping upon hope to feel reassuring hands pulling me upright, my hoping upon hopes were dashed when I spied said husband scurrying around the yard, gathering all my displaced items.
I guess that’s when the shock really set in. Tears began to flow in earnest while the husband’s task escalated in speed. Any second now, he would gather me in his arms.
But, no. He hates it when I’m hurt and actually gets nauseous at the sight of (my) blood. I’m sorry for him but kinda angry that I end up cleaning up after myself when I least feel like it.
So, I ignore him and make my way to the house for self-reconnaissance.
Don't get me wrong. My husband is a wonderful person. Just not when I’m hurt. Unfortunately, this is not a winning combination. I am grateful to be such a self-reliant individual, but kind of scared at times, knowing I am my own best caregiver.
I’ve been curious for a while if there is a name for this sudden lost in space sensation.
Gymnasts refer to this sensation as the twisties. This occurs when the athlete’s mind and body have a disconnect in midair, resulting in a potentially dangerous loss of muscle memory and spatial awareness.
In my research, I couldn’t find a concurrent MonSter ailment other than a drop attack. Drop attacks don’t involve any loss of consciousness during the fall and people often regain equilibrium quickly if they weren’t hurt during the fall. Drop attacks typically last for around 15 seconds and are described as a type of seizure.
Not every drop attack is caused by a seizure. Tumarkin’s otolithic crisis is a type of drop attack that’s associated with vertigo or problems with the inner ear.
Drop Attack: Definition, Causes, Treatments, and More
Drop attacks are sudden falls that occur without an external physical trigger, such as tripping over something. Drop…
You may notice some or all of these things happening:
- If you have a drop attack and are holding something, you may drop it.
- Your eyelids may droop, and your head may drop forward.
- Your legs will give out, causing you to fall or slump.
- You may experience jerking movements.
- You’ll most likely remain conscious during this process and feel no aftereffects unless you were injured by the fall.
People who have drop attacks may also experience associated injuries and bruising, which can appear on the face, legs, and palms of the hands.
Please refer to the following article for more information about Drop Attack:
So, what if it’s not a Drop Attack? Let me open another can of worm.
Maybe I can attribute my twin black eyes and swollen nose to something else.
Sporadic Inclusion Body Myositis Symptoms
- Frequent falls
- Difficulty walking
- Trouble climbing stairs or standing from a seated position
- A foot that seems to drop when walking, causing tripping
- Weakened hand grip and difficulty flexing the fingers
- Difficulty writing, manipulating keys, and other daily activities
- Weakness and noticeable shrinking of the quadriceps (main muscle of the thighs)
- Weakness in the forearm muscles
- Pain or discomfort as muscles weaken
- Difficulty swallowing
Some of the first signs of inclusion body myositis are falling, difficulty getting up from a chair, and weakened grip. Muscles most often affected are those at the front of the thighs, those that elevate the feet, and those in the hips, fingers, wrists, upper arms, shoulders, neck, back, and, less often, in the face. Many IBM patients notice shrinking (atrophy) in the arms and thighs as the muscles become weaker. Trouble swallowing, or dysphagia, is a common problem for patients with sIBM as well.
Sporadic Inclusion Body Myositis - The Myositis Association
Sporadic inclusion body myositis (sIBM) is the most commonly acquired myopathy in patients over the age of 50. More men…
Or maybe I have high blood pressure? What about a heart attack? Vertigo?
Living with the MonSter is living with daily questions. If we run to the doctor seeking answers to every single mysterious ailment, life would be SO depressing. Sure, there are legitimate reasons for health concerns, but for the most part, I rely upon, a healthy mix of common sense, Google, and conversation with like-minded individuals.
Multiple Sclerosis is elusive but it's not a death sentence.
Hakuna Matata, my friends,
Lisa, Lady With the Cane