“Multiple Sclerosis makes you so sensitive!”

I suppose if I need a scapegoat, the MonSter is at the ready.

“So, you don’t like to be touched anymore?” He asked as I squirmed away from his groping grasp. “When did that happen? Don’t you love me anymore? Is there someone else? What’s going on?”

If he only knew how often I asked myself that very set of questions. Daily. Often. Accompanied by sobs of sadness, despair, helplessness.

It’s not a matter of indifference. Of course, I love him. Yes, I want to be touched. No, there was no ONE else.

Well, that’s a lie.

There is someone else and its name is Multiple Sclerosis.

The MonSter has taken permanent residence as an unwelcome life partner. With the ugly mantle of MonSter hide evident in every single stitch of our happily ever after existence, there was less and less room for private affection.

A simple brush of fingertips across my bare skin makes me want to lurch off the mattress in agony. Unfortunately, my weak limbs deny me the luxury of any sudden or quick reaction.

“I think I’ll start sleeping downstairs from now on. Let me know when I can come back to our bed.”

If I hadn’t already felt his displeasure, the slam of the door sealed the deal. I wasn’t’ even aware there was a door in the bedroom until that minute.

Multiple Sclerosis affects the brain and spinal cord by damaging the protective covering (myelin) of the body’s nerve endings. What once felt cold is now subzero. The sun no longer warms the body but scorches the skin and interrupts clear vision. Everything is magnified. Touch is often intolerable.

Now, think about this for a moment.

Think about all of the hundreds of thousands of millions of nerve endings in the human body.

Think about trying to numb the pain of toothache with a swish of alcohol before realizing that the tooth’s root is exposed.

Think about pouring salt on a freshly broken blister.

Think about the second that splinter enters the skin.

I don’t need to say more. If you haven’t gotten the picture by now, it’s not happening. Basically, your nerve endings are far too gone to care.

And we don’t want that. We don’t ever want that.

So, we tolerate this unwelcome precursor to paralysis.

And we need everyone in our lives to realize that this isn’t something we want. It simply is our new/current reality.

And it’s not going away.

Ever.

The ball’s now in your court. What’s next?

#MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS #MSAwareness #LadyWiththeCane.com